Tuesday 30 September 2014

Confidence and Contribution - Part 2

Yesterday I finished the end of my blog by encouraging you to think about the opportunity in standing up and presenting to people.  Many people have a stronger or weaker sense of stage fright if they are asked to stand up and present or do something extremely public.  Often this is because of a 'voice' in the brain telling them things designed to hold them back from what they are trying to do.

In today's blog, I want to focus on the bigger picture and how in doing this, those negative 'voices' will start to quieten down.

So lets pick an example....

For many years I have played guitar in different bands.  I love it, I have learnt to immerse myself in what I am doing and I feel grateful for being able to express myself in this way.  People seem to have a good time with the bands that I play in.  However, it wasn't always like this...

When I was a teenager and I was learning and starting to play in bands, I was really self conscious of everything I played.  Every wrong note I played sounded to me like a big out of tune gong going off.  I would be really paranoid about what people thought and if I did get any negative feedback I would be extremely defensive and worry even more.  This lead to me looking like I wasn't enjoying my music on stage and I often was asked what was wrong.  My negative thoughts affected my behaviour.

After a while I realised that those people attending gigs to listen to bands were really there for a good time.  They wanted to enjoy what was being presented and really didn't care about any of the bum notes (of which there are still many!).  When I realised this, I started to really enjoy what I was doing.  My body language changed and people noticed that I was doing something good.

The same kind of approach can be used with times at work when you are called to stand out, or address many people in a room.  If you have been invited to do something, then nine out of ten of those times are probably happening because you have something to contribute.  Your experience counts, your opinion counts.  For sure there will probably be people in that room out to get you , but they are a minority and interestingly, they are not the ones being asked to share their wisdom.

So if you find yourself getting shaky before a presentation, just remember you are there for a good reason otherwise why would anyone waste their time being there?  You count and you have something good to say.

So allow yourself to believe that and start making a huge impact around you!

Monday 29 September 2014

Confidence and Contribution - Part 1

Have you ever been on stage?  What was it like for you? Did you get that dreaded 'Stage Fright'?

Have you ever had an experience when aspects of your life are like being on a stage.  Maybe you have been asked to do a presentation at work, or give out a notice at a community event?  Maybe you have met the top dog in your company and you are having to impress him / her with your knowledge?

So you get to your place and you are about to open your mouth and nothing comes out!  You start sweating profusely or your hands start shaking or your voice cracks.  It doesn't feel good does it?

Have you ever wondered what is happening inside your head for that to happen?  Why are you getting an adrenalin rush when all you are doing is talking.  There's no real danger to runaway from is there?

When I meet with clients, there are so many times when their performance at work is blocked through a fear of how they are perceived 'What if I make a fool of myself?' type comments are common.
What is happening in the brain is simple.  It is mostly a protection mechanism that your brain uses to keep you out of danger.  The trouble is, so often this mechanism (which I like to refer to as a self defeating belief or saboteur ) can be too dominant in the mind.  So you might be doing something that really promotes something great about you and is not offensive to anyone and is probably very interesting, but your brain is telling you 'DANGER'!

If you are ever in this situation, try focusing on what is really good about what you are doing.  What is the opportunity gained by standing up and being counted?  Allow yourself to appreciate that people want to hear what you have to say.

The more you focus on the positives gained in doing anything that is very 'public', the 'saboteur' should start to lose it's grip on you.

Go on give it a go!